To whoever is out there following/reading....
Thank you, first and foremost! Secondly, for the next 4-6 months, I will be blogging at the site set up for my Thesis group. To see what's going on please check me/us out there! It is a great group of individuals from many/diverse backgrounds so your perspectives will be varied!
www.healthymindbodyvitality.blogspot.com
Have a happy and healthy day!
-Dre
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Monday, January 30, 2012
You Deserve it!!
Once upon a time the human body was a work of art…now a days, it’s an ongoing work in progress. It’s been like this for a while and there are plenty every day products that contribute to this—cover up/make up (to conceal “imperfections”, panty hose, shape wear, hair dye to cover greys, etc. I’m not saying that these are bad products, but the subliminal messages that they send us are! We’ve all used them without thinking twice about it—myself as well and it wasn’t until a few days ago when I realized all this.
If you follow my blog you know that it was a recent revelation that I had in regards to my worth. I didn’t think about how much I devalued myself, for so long, and to such deep extent! These products (and many others just added to this!). My mindset was that I wasn’t worth it. Think about…I couldn’t take compliments from people even if from the outside (to everyone else) I was obviously deserving of it. I would reward myself with anything; I thought bad things happen because I deserve it and most of what I focused on was the bad therefore why would I see that I deserved anything good?!? I had crappy relationships because I didn’t deserve a good one. We are guilty of it even with food---did I work out enough to deserve this truffle? Was I lazy so I deserve a boring, minimal, or no meal at all? Even with workouts….I’ll get a loss on the scale if I deserve it. No, you’ll get a loss on the scale for scientific purposes (less calories in and more calories out) not because you deserve it (or not)! I could spend a whole blog on this but who wants to read that—depressing?!
My point tonight is that we deserve better! Why are we hiding who we really are from the world? Why are we hiding who we really are from ourselves—if we don’t want to hang out with us, why would anyone else? You are the most important person in that equation anyways—your OWN opinion counts more than anyone else’s!
I’m writing about this because I hope someone who feels the same way I once did can have their “aha” moment sooner than I did. No one should have to go through life thinking that they aren’t worthy. You are here, on this earth, living a life that was a gift to you, reading this blog (your ability to do so reflects so many blessings), you have something that none of us have….so know that you deserve what you want in life—whether that’s a promotion at work, a new outfit, a compliment, a baby, etc….YOU DESERVE THE BEST IN YOUR LIFE, ACCEPT IT, AND SHOW YOUR GRATITUDE FOR IT!
Monday, January 23, 2012
Coping with Change
This process/transition of change can seem quite daunting and unbearbale to us at times. There's not enough time, it's not the right not, etc. Truth is that when that change is happening it's always the right time. I'm guilty of always saying this and of saying that I'm someone who doesn't/didn't change much because I didn't like it. But that's false--it's part of nature to always be changing and eveolving whether we are conscious of it or not.
I was defeinitely conscious of it yesterday and most of this past week! I started off the week aware of the shift that was going on and trying to work with it--I was already exhausted from a long weekend of school and I don't get holidays off as I am self employed, so Monday was no break for me. I would have much rather been out taking the day of service than working inside. When I did get out that day it was to take a walk, I needed it and was determined to get out and do it! Because of the weather, I took my walk indoors and I cried on part of it as well, but I did it! It was nothing spectacular for time or distance it just got me moving! I'd like to say that it go better from there but I had some struggles the rest of that evening as well. Change can be overwhelming if we let it be.
My struggle yesterday got to me and I let it. I had to be talked off the perverbial emotional ledge. The key for me to keep it in control is to reflect and write about it (hence my pressence here). Some see this as a weakness but I see it as being transparent--open and honest about life. I have been since I realized just how precious a gift life is after watching my mom pass away. Yes, if you are a regualr reader then you've heard me talk about her before, but I've gotten over the idea that I'm supposed to forget that it happened. I've grown since it happened, I've even started to see the bright light at the end of the grieving tunnel. But I know that I will always remember it because of the impact she and that experience had on my life. I may not physically have my mom here but I carry her spirit with me where ever I go and in whatever I do. I feel her presence when I need it most and where I least expect it. I realized this weekend that I'm letting go of the blame I put on myself with her passing. When I heard her say cancer I thought death--I admit it. But when she found it she was more sick than I knew and she put up one hell of a fight and I'm proud of her for that! I let go of the blame on myself becasue I realize that there's nothing that I did or could have done to bring that on her, me or my family. Life is just life and none of us control that. Before you jump down my throat for that last comment, hear me out.
I believe and live in the idea that we attract what we put out--that meaning if you are negative you attract negative and if you are positive you attract positive. But none of us are God and we don't get a say in who gets (or doesn't get) a terminal illness. Doctors can do all they can to try and save their patients but there is a limit (at least at this point) in what they can do. I'm grateful for the oncologist my mom had because he treated her as an individual and not like every other patient who walked through his door. I recall fondly our times in his office for her chemo treatments becasue they were four hours of quality time together.
Back to my original point. I lost sight of my positive mentality this week because of all the change going on internally. I recognize that now and appreciate those who helped me get to this point of realization. Their patience, kindness and honesty make me a better person. They show true love through their actions not just words and that means more than anything--that is a greater gift then any you could buy and wrap up to give!
My only words of wisdom here for those who feel like they too are going thru a change is to surround yourself with those kinds of people in your life. But don't forget to take time out for yourself. Love yourself as much as they do--that's a priority! Know that you deserve the best because of who you are right now and not who you will be! Take some "hermitt" time as I call it--in all the fullness of my schedule the last 6 months, I lacked the balance of my "me time" which contributed to my emotional breakdown.
Healthy and Happy Chinese New Year!
I was defeinitely conscious of it yesterday and most of this past week! I started off the week aware of the shift that was going on and trying to work with it--I was already exhausted from a long weekend of school and I don't get holidays off as I am self employed, so Monday was no break for me. I would have much rather been out taking the day of service than working inside. When I did get out that day it was to take a walk, I needed it and was determined to get out and do it! Because of the weather, I took my walk indoors and I cried on part of it as well, but I did it! It was nothing spectacular for time or distance it just got me moving! I'd like to say that it go better from there but I had some struggles the rest of that evening as well. Change can be overwhelming if we let it be.
My struggle yesterday got to me and I let it. I had to be talked off the perverbial emotional ledge. The key for me to keep it in control is to reflect and write about it (hence my pressence here). Some see this as a weakness but I see it as being transparent--open and honest about life. I have been since I realized just how precious a gift life is after watching my mom pass away. Yes, if you are a regualr reader then you've heard me talk about her before, but I've gotten over the idea that I'm supposed to forget that it happened. I've grown since it happened, I've even started to see the bright light at the end of the grieving tunnel. But I know that I will always remember it because of the impact she and that experience had on my life. I may not physically have my mom here but I carry her spirit with me where ever I go and in whatever I do. I feel her presence when I need it most and where I least expect it. I realized this weekend that I'm letting go of the blame I put on myself with her passing. When I heard her say cancer I thought death--I admit it. But when she found it she was more sick than I knew and she put up one hell of a fight and I'm proud of her for that! I let go of the blame on myself becasue I realize that there's nothing that I did or could have done to bring that on her, me or my family. Life is just life and none of us control that. Before you jump down my throat for that last comment, hear me out.
I believe and live in the idea that we attract what we put out--that meaning if you are negative you attract negative and if you are positive you attract positive. But none of us are God and we don't get a say in who gets (or doesn't get) a terminal illness. Doctors can do all they can to try and save their patients but there is a limit (at least at this point) in what they can do. I'm grateful for the oncologist my mom had because he treated her as an individual and not like every other patient who walked through his door. I recall fondly our times in his office for her chemo treatments becasue they were four hours of quality time together.
Back to my original point. I lost sight of my positive mentality this week because of all the change going on internally. I recognize that now and appreciate those who helped me get to this point of realization. Their patience, kindness and honesty make me a better person. They show true love through their actions not just words and that means more than anything--that is a greater gift then any you could buy and wrap up to give!
My only words of wisdom here for those who feel like they too are going thru a change is to surround yourself with those kinds of people in your life. But don't forget to take time out for yourself. Love yourself as much as they do--that's a priority! Know that you deserve the best because of who you are right now and not who you will be! Take some "hermitt" time as I call it--in all the fullness of my schedule the last 6 months, I lacked the balance of my "me time" which contributed to my emotional breakdown.
Healthy and Happy Chinese New Year!
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Break Thru!
I guess I shouldn't be surprised--even after 90 lbs down--I still have these "aha" moments (has Oprah trademarked that yet, sorry if she did). This one I had when I least suspected it--again, I don't think I should have been surprised by that either.
I was in class this weekend and we were in the middle of a discussion regarding an activity we had just done. A classmate of mine (who also happens to be one of my best friends) made a comment, indirectly in response to mine. She said something along the lines of it had to do with the way she was raised and that she was raised to know that she was worth/deserving of the best (I don't want to put words in her mouth but that's what I comprehended it as). It wasn't a malicious or egotistical statement on her part at all. It made a lot of sense actually--our parent(s) want the best for us and do their best to instill that way of thinking in us. It establishes a sense of self worth. Initially I thought to myself--well my parents didn't teach me to not think that I wasn't worthy....but then I stopped. My reaction wasn't about whether or not my parents didn't raise me well--they did a great job. But at some point I got wrapped up into my own thoughts/views of myself and I began to think that I wasn't deserving. I thought/felt I wasn't deserving because of my weight. Looking back I know I was a healthy weight and just a tall kid (which is why I physically "stuck out") but then I saw being a "big kid" = being a fat kid. Which, as a teenager, grew into "I'm fat, so I don't deserve to have a boyfriend." This continued through my college years and (I recently realized) into my young adult years. My "I'm fat = I don't deserve" haunted me until Sunday when my friend made her comment and I had my epiphany. I was instantly taken back to these moments when I couldn't understand why I didn't get something that I thought I deserved and I realized that it was because I developed the mindset of "I don't deserve it because I'm fat."
WRONG! You (and I) deserve anything that you/I rightly work to earn--whether that's a compliment, a raise, a new car, a weight loss, etc. I now understand why I never take compliments, b/c I never thought I deserved them. I now understand why I absorbed and held onto all the negative in my life--b/c I thought I deserved it.
This is coming from a woman who's always (I think so) stood confidently in her beliefs, values, and individuality. But what I realized that day was that it wasn't my parent's fault or wrong doing and that I deserve anything that I rightfully and honestly strive for!
I had more "ahas" that day as we followed that discussion up with a guided meditation--I realized that I have a whole "junk drawer/closet" of things I need to address/face still. It's those things that we put aside and say that we'll get to it later. Then later comes and goes and it all begins to pile up, we stick it somewhere that's around but out of sight. I know that I carry stuff about my mom's passing still, about my childhood, about jobs I've had/lost/never had, about a lot of things. Just when you think you've cleaned up you remember that proverbial junk drawer--well now is the time to either deal with it or continue to carry the burden. That day I decided to start to deal with it. Create the keep, dump, donate piles and move up and on with life--my life!
I post this here b/c we need to realize that those items weigh more than we think. They add on LBS just like a pint of Ben & Jerry's can. In fact, more often than not, they are the reason we turn to Ben & Jerry instead of the issue itself. I'm not advising you take on the whole drawer today--but open it, take a good look at it, and decide what you will pull out to work on first. It will make a HUGE difference.
I was in class this weekend and we were in the middle of a discussion regarding an activity we had just done. A classmate of mine (who also happens to be one of my best friends) made a comment, indirectly in response to mine. She said something along the lines of it had to do with the way she was raised and that she was raised to know that she was worth/deserving of the best (I don't want to put words in her mouth but that's what I comprehended it as). It wasn't a malicious or egotistical statement on her part at all. It made a lot of sense actually--our parent(s) want the best for us and do their best to instill that way of thinking in us. It establishes a sense of self worth. Initially I thought to myself--well my parents didn't teach me to not think that I wasn't worthy....but then I stopped. My reaction wasn't about whether or not my parents didn't raise me well--they did a great job. But at some point I got wrapped up into my own thoughts/views of myself and I began to think that I wasn't deserving. I thought/felt I wasn't deserving because of my weight. Looking back I know I was a healthy weight and just a tall kid (which is why I physically "stuck out") but then I saw being a "big kid" = being a fat kid. Which, as a teenager, grew into "I'm fat, so I don't deserve to have a boyfriend." This continued through my college years and (I recently realized) into my young adult years. My "I'm fat = I don't deserve" haunted me until Sunday when my friend made her comment and I had my epiphany. I was instantly taken back to these moments when I couldn't understand why I didn't get something that I thought I deserved and I realized that it was because I developed the mindset of "I don't deserve it because I'm fat."
WRONG! You (and I) deserve anything that you/I rightly work to earn--whether that's a compliment, a raise, a new car, a weight loss, etc. I now understand why I never take compliments, b/c I never thought I deserved them. I now understand why I absorbed and held onto all the negative in my life--b/c I thought I deserved it.
This is coming from a woman who's always (I think so) stood confidently in her beliefs, values, and individuality. But what I realized that day was that it wasn't my parent's fault or wrong doing and that I deserve anything that I rightfully and honestly strive for!
I had more "ahas" that day as we followed that discussion up with a guided meditation--I realized that I have a whole "junk drawer/closet" of things I need to address/face still. It's those things that we put aside and say that we'll get to it later. Then later comes and goes and it all begins to pile up, we stick it somewhere that's around but out of sight. I know that I carry stuff about my mom's passing still, about my childhood, about jobs I've had/lost/never had, about a lot of things. Just when you think you've cleaned up you remember that proverbial junk drawer--well now is the time to either deal with it or continue to carry the burden. That day I decided to start to deal with it. Create the keep, dump, donate piles and move up and on with life--my life!
I post this here b/c we need to realize that those items weigh more than we think. They add on LBS just like a pint of Ben & Jerry's can. In fact, more often than not, they are the reason we turn to Ben & Jerry instead of the issue itself. I'm not advising you take on the whole drawer today--but open it, take a good look at it, and decide what you will pull out to work on first. It will make a HUGE difference.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
It's the beginning...
So as I stated in my last post from last year, I am continuing my work on this topic by making it my thesis. Initially I was planning on being the only one in my class doing this but after a couple of weeks and the buzz from the holidays slowed down I was approached by a classmate to have her join the inquiry and turn it into Collaborative inquiry project. After talking to her about he original thesis idea and how we could incorporate it into my existing one we agreed to work together. Then through a thread on FB another class member appraoched me to join in. We discussed her original thesis topic and again felt that we were able to incorporate the three into one. By the end of the call our CI was possibly going to include four of us!
The funny part, I didn't feel like my idea was being taken over by other people, I felt like it was getting better because of the new group members. While I won't disclose their names I will give you a general idea of our backgrounds. Grp mmbr #1 (me): 30s, Single, ethnically mixed but mostly Italian, administrative/management background, formerly obese, always athletic, grew up in suburb of SF. Grp mmbr #2: 20s, Married w/1 child, African American, curvy but not obese/over weight, administrative/youth support background, grew up inner city SF. Grp mmbr #3: 20s, engaged, Filippino, (I don't want to mess up her career background b/c i can't remember so I'm not putting it), petite, Bay Area native. Grp mmbr #4: 30s, Divorced, 2 children, Medical/admin background, Bay Area native, curvy but healthy build, always athletic (dance/sport background). We are a great DIVERSE group make up and it makes me even more excited that we are going to be working on this together!!!
I know the thesis process isn't intended or stereotyped as fun and exciting but why not? You are working on it for so long it should be somethin gthat you are passionate about!! I'm passionate about this because in helping myself I see that I can help others. I want to help those who are still struggling to make healthy living a way of life. It dosn't mean that I'm out to help all the obese people of the world--right now that seems almost like trying to solve world peace. But if I can help turn around the statistic that is currently floating around out there that this generation of children will be the first to not outlive their parent's then I am happy and proud to do so! That should not be a statistic that exists especially in today's world where we have such advanced technology, information and knowledge to prevent such a thing. We are becoming like the movie Wall-E becasue we have so much to make our live's so convenient that we fail to do the most basic of things like walk, run, cook our own healthy food, etc. I personally don't want to become one of those floating blobs in the movie who goes so long until she has her "aha moment"!
I stand by my belief that (for those that are obese) it's more than just good nutrition and exercise that you need to make this your way of life and achieve the goals you set for yourself. We carry around "baggage" that turns into literal weight. Face those and the fears that linger along with them while incorporating a healthy lifestyle regimen and you'll get the results you've been looking for. Hold on to those old fears/habits and nothing will change...I take that back, about the only thing that will change will be the scale and your clothing size increasing.
So it's the beginning....the beginning of my thesis work, the beginning of a new year, the beginning of a new month, and the beginning of change for someone out there who's fed up with living the way they have and is determined to make the change--through the good and the bad!
The funny part, I didn't feel like my idea was being taken over by other people, I felt like it was getting better because of the new group members. While I won't disclose their names I will give you a general idea of our backgrounds. Grp mmbr #1 (me): 30s, Single, ethnically mixed but mostly Italian, administrative/management background, formerly obese, always athletic, grew up in suburb of SF. Grp mmbr #2: 20s, Married w/1 child, African American, curvy but not obese/over weight, administrative/youth support background, grew up inner city SF. Grp mmbr #3: 20s, engaged, Filippino, (I don't want to mess up her career background b/c i can't remember so I'm not putting it), petite, Bay Area native. Grp mmbr #4: 30s, Divorced, 2 children, Medical/admin background, Bay Area native, curvy but healthy build, always athletic (dance/sport background). We are a great DIVERSE group make up and it makes me even more excited that we are going to be working on this together!!!
I know the thesis process isn't intended or stereotyped as fun and exciting but why not? You are working on it for so long it should be somethin gthat you are passionate about!! I'm passionate about this because in helping myself I see that I can help others. I want to help those who are still struggling to make healthy living a way of life. It dosn't mean that I'm out to help all the obese people of the world--right now that seems almost like trying to solve world peace. But if I can help turn around the statistic that is currently floating around out there that this generation of children will be the first to not outlive their parent's then I am happy and proud to do so! That should not be a statistic that exists especially in today's world where we have such advanced technology, information and knowledge to prevent such a thing. We are becoming like the movie Wall-E becasue we have so much to make our live's so convenient that we fail to do the most basic of things like walk, run, cook our own healthy food, etc. I personally don't want to become one of those floating blobs in the movie who goes so long until she has her "aha moment"!
I stand by my belief that (for those that are obese) it's more than just good nutrition and exercise that you need to make this your way of life and achieve the goals you set for yourself. We carry around "baggage" that turns into literal weight. Face those and the fears that linger along with them while incorporating a healthy lifestyle regimen and you'll get the results you've been looking for. Hold on to those old fears/habits and nothing will change...I take that back, about the only thing that will change will be the scale and your clothing size increasing.
So it's the beginning....the beginning of my thesis work, the beginning of a new year, the beginning of a new month, and the beginning of change for someone out there who's fed up with living the way they have and is determined to make the change--through the good and the bad!
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Successful Healthy Lifestyle--What does it take?: Transitions...
Successful Healthy Lifestyle--What does it take?: Transitions...: Transitions in life....where do I start with this one?! I always find growth here--sometimes in my waist line unfortunately! But always i...
Transitions...
Transitions in life....where do I start with this one?!
I always find growth here--sometimes in my waist line unfortunately! But always in character. "What doesn't kill us makes us stronger"--right?
I have to tell myself that often in times of transition, otherwise I just want to throw up my arms and give up. Getting frustrated or mad gives me no satisfaction so it's just a waste of energy for me.
I'm there....at said point....
Not a good time for it though...and shouldn't the new year mean new beginnings and bright positive light shed on my life? Or is that only in fairy tales? You know that mental frustration side effects else where too...skin irritation, headaches (DUH!), weight gain from stress, etc! Who needs that on top of already being at a mental block?!?! No one!
So why is it easier said than done to get out of our own way? Because you know that we are only "stuck" because we keep ourselves there. Is it our fear/apprehension dealing with change? Is it that "unknown" that makes us uneasy? If we knew what it was would we be proactive in addressing it so we wouldn't be stuck? Or is it the addressing of it that makes us uncomfortable?
This is the question(s) I have for you...and ME. In points of transition how do we give/allow ourselves the ability to take the next step? Our mind is a very powerful part of us--it controls our mood, our appetitite, our actions, etc. How do we keep it in check? That's my focus for the next couple of weeks--keeping myself in mental check--proactively.
Because a healthy mind = a healthy body!
Until next time....
Healthy Holidays!
I always find growth here--sometimes in my waist line unfortunately! But always in character. "What doesn't kill us makes us stronger"--right?
I have to tell myself that often in times of transition, otherwise I just want to throw up my arms and give up. Getting frustrated or mad gives me no satisfaction so it's just a waste of energy for me.
I'm there....at said point....
Not a good time for it though...and shouldn't the new year mean new beginnings and bright positive light shed on my life? Or is that only in fairy tales? You know that mental frustration side effects else where too...skin irritation, headaches (DUH!), weight gain from stress, etc! Who needs that on top of already being at a mental block?!?! No one!
So why is it easier said than done to get out of our own way? Because you know that we are only "stuck" because we keep ourselves there. Is it our fear/apprehension dealing with change? Is it that "unknown" that makes us uneasy? If we knew what it was would we be proactive in addressing it so we wouldn't be stuck? Or is it the addressing of it that makes us uncomfortable?
This is the question(s) I have for you...and ME. In points of transition how do we give/allow ourselves the ability to take the next step? Our mind is a very powerful part of us--it controls our mood, our appetitite, our actions, etc. How do we keep it in check? That's my focus for the next couple of weeks--keeping myself in mental check--proactively.
Because a healthy mind = a healthy body!
Until next time....
Healthy Holidays!
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